| Champions League!! |
[Mar. 10th, 2010|05:17 pm] |
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Today was a good day for me. Manchester United thumped AC Milan 4-0 and Real Madrid got knocked out by Lyon, all in one afternoon! Champions League is awesome! |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 14th, 2009|07:46 pm] |
You guys know what a Snuggie is, right? Those blankets with arm holes in them so you can be warm while at baseball games and watching tv with your family; they are pretty much a backwards bathrobe. Anyway my sister told me about this thing she saw on TV.
Have you ever heard of a show called "Hoarders". It's some reality show on TLC that features, you guessed it, "hoarders": totally out-of-control collectors who never throw anything away, ever. Even if it's year-old milk in the fridge, or a cat that's been dead for a month, these people will keep it in thier house till the end of the world. Anyway, it's pretty mental, the state of some of the houses: garbage piled to the ceiling, unopened shopping bags, dirty clothes, and of course cats. Lots of cats. What's up with crazy people and cats?
Anyway last weeks episode apparently featured two old ladies, and both their respective houses had the power and water cut off, owing from failure to pay the bills, I guess. Anyways the first lady, when she needed to use the bathroom, would go over to her neighbour's house to fill up a bucket with water and pour that in the toilet and just do that, as needed. The second lady's solution was a bit different.
When the second lady's water got cut off, she simply stopped using the toilet and went around all day wearing ADULT DIAPERS! And since she was a OCD hoarder, she never threw any of them away when she was done; she simply threw them into one of the bedrooms. This went on for months till supposedly the ammonia or whatever from the used diapers actually burned a hole through the floor. But I digress.
This second lady's house was so crowded with junk (and used Depends) that she simply slept in one of those walker/wheelchair/toilet seat things. She would simply strap in and sleep like that. Anyway, one night she somehow slipped out and got wedged in between the chair and some garbage, unable to move. When they found her (two days later) all she had on was an adult diaper and a Snuggie! Can you imagine?
Anyway, that show sounds mental. |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 12th, 2009|06:38 pm] |
Son of a biscuit, it's cold out. I'm not complaining, I'm just commenting how cold it is. However if I WERE complaining, that would be okay. I kind of hate those people who say "Oh stop complaining about the cold". I think it's okay to complain a bit about it.
Last night I went to the Globe to see "The Damned United" which was about the English soccer coach Brian Clough, whose heyday was the 1970s were he won the League a couple times, the FA Cup, and the European Cup (twice). Anyway it was pretty good. It really illustrated how men never, ever really grow up. I can't remember where I heard this, but someone once said "Men never grow up, they just give up" and I totally forgot about that quote until yesterday. I don't know if I agree with it, but I can see how it might be true.
Anyway, if you like soccer, or even if you don't, go out and see "The Damned United", if only to support your local arthouse theatre. |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 9th, 2009|05:43 pm] |
You know what sucks? My sister is going up north for Christmas and it looks like I have too go to. Up to Thompson. Did I mention that Christmas happens in December? Yeah. I mean, I guess it'd be cool to see my mom and my brother, but I just can't help the feeling that nothing good ever comes from being in Thompson. Like if I go there I could literally come back dead, either from passing out in the snow and freezing to death, or else I could get stabbed, or drown or whatever. You know how, when you talk to your therapist, he says "On a scale of one to ten, how anxious do you feel right now?"; I'll be holding around 7 or 8 the whole time I'm up there.
On the other hand, maybe people will see that I'm putting forth the effort to do family shit, so maybe I'll get some sweet-ass presents for my trouble. Christmas list time!
- The new England Jersey
- New Eric Cantona biography
- Inglorious Basterds dvd
- The Sartorialist book
- New Manchester United book by Jim White
- Errol Flynn autobiography:
- a nice Bordeaux
Whenever I look at my Christmas lists I am reminded of that Rolling Stones line about "a man of wealth and taste". That's me. Well, not really, but kinda. |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 6th, 2009|09:52 am] |
Christmas music is crazy. Especially the "contemporary" artists who do Christmas songs. Yesterday I was traipsing through the mall and Bon Jovi was singing about Santa Claus coming down the chimney. It was pretty redonkulous.
Right now I'm just getting over a bruised heel. At least I hope that's all it is. Apparently all a bruised heel is the layer of fat in your heel getting pushed to one side, leaving the bone more susceptible to impacts and such. Anyway, it SUCKS; I have to hobble around like the Elephant Man until the fatty layer kind of glomps back into place.
On the upside, I've joined a gym for the winter. So now I have something to do with my evenings besides watching America's Next Top Model reruns. It's a sweet gym though; they have kettlebells, two squat racks, a trap bar, a million cardio machines and a whole section with a padded floor for doing your pylometrics. There's also a lap pool there, but I haven't seen it yet.
Also, I went for a bike ride. In December! December! This almost makes up for such a short summer. Almost. |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 6th, 2009|05:04 pm] |
It irritates me to no end that when I text on my cell phone, there is NO SEMICOLON character! What the hell?!?! I mean, there is the usual stuff: "at" symbols, ampersans, number signs, math symbols, FOUR different kinds of brackets, dollar signs, etc, but no semicolons!?! How the hell am I supposed to suggest the close relationship between two grammatically complete statements without a fucking semicolon? With a conjunction and a comma? This isn't amateur hour, folks. I suppose I could just have the two separate sentences, but then that isn't really the same thing, is it? No.
For those of you who care about such things, this weekend will see Manchester United take on Chelsea in the English Premier League, and Olympique Marseille go up against Lyon in Ligue 1. Both games on Sunday. No points for guessing who I'm cheering for in both games. |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 19th, 2009|06:42 pm] |
My weekend was ace:
Manchester United won; Chelsea lost; Liverpool lost, and best of all, Sunderland's winning goal against Liverpool was scored by a fucking beach ball!!!
Take that, you lousy Scousers! |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 2nd, 2009|10:22 am] |
I was watching the Liverpool - Fiorentina game earlier and - I hadn't really noticed this before - but Liverpool striker Fernando Torres looks a hell of a lot like "Kate" from "John and Kate Plus Eight"
'nando:
Kate:
The resemblence is astounding! |
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| Shirts & Stuff |
[Sep. 27th, 2009|09:05 am] |
This year I don't believe I'll buy the new Manchester United jersey. I think it's horrid, and I already have three and I need to buy the new England shirt besides.
If you're thinking of buying a soccer jersey and you're not sure what team to go in for, may I suggest picking up the new Getafe shirt. Getafe play in the Spanish Liga and they just worked out a new sponsorship deal with Burger King. That's right, Burger King!
So anyway the shirts look pretty normal: swooshes, garish colours, the sponsor's logo dumped unceremoniously in the middle:
But these shirts actually come with INSTRUCTIONS. WTF?:
Turns out that, not only are Burger King putting their logo on the outside of the shirt, inside is a print of the BK Kings face, so that when scoring a goal, you can pull the shirt over your face and YOU will be the King, at least for a moment!
This gave me a bit of an idea. My team is getting shirts soon. So on the inside of my shirt, I'm gonna try and silkscreen a face of my own choosing. So now when I score a goal, I will pull my shirt over my face to reveal the face of everyone's favourite Austrian, Josef Fritzl:
GOOOOOOAALLL!!!!!!!!!! |
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| Roadhouse appreciation. |
[Sep. 22nd, 2009|05:31 pm] |
What a crazy year for famous people dying. Jacko, FF, the Oxycontin guy, David Carradine, etc, and now fucking Patrick Swayze.
The thing that kind of bothers me about the coverage Patrick Swayze's death get is that they only ever talk about "Ghost" and "Dirty Dancing". They never really mention his good movies like "Youngblood" (where he played hockey with Keanu Reeves), "Red Dawn" (where he and his schoolmates fought the Russians), and "Roadhouse". Especially "Roadhouse".
For males of a certain age, and especially the ones that grew up without a dad, like I did, there was only one way to learn how to be a man: by watching Roadhouse on VHS. It taught you the virtues of scoring with hot chicks, beating the fuck out of people, and wearing tight black t-shirts with conviction. And the part where he ripped out that dude's throat? Superb!
If you don't like the movie Roadhouse, you are teh ghey. Fact! |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 29th, 2009|08:01 am] |
You know, I think I'd like to get my own ghost-hunting show. Ever watch those shows? They always have some name like "Ghostly Hauntings" or "Spirit Patrol" or whatever and featurea crack team of "paranormal experts" that go investigate some haunted building. And when they say "paranormal experts" they are actually talking about "some sweaty chowderheads with Radio Shack equipment".
Even though I have 0 ghost-hunting experience, I think I could have my own show, simply because I've seen enough episodes. All you do really is:
1. Travel to typical american trailer park.
2. Interview the kids about the monster in their room or whatever.
3. Stay overnight, fucking around the attic and shit, with night-vision cameras
4. The next day have a chat with the owners of the house, saying vague, non-committal things like "Yeah, we had some interesting experiences here, we don't have any solid, uh, hard evidence, but there is definitley something, not so much a presence as an entity, this house has som history. Thanks very much for hospitality!"
5. Get into the van and say to your team members "Good job, people. That family really needed our help"
I'd sort of approach it like Scooby doo and Shaggy: Wander around the house looking for food until I hear something, then run around screaming. I would do this every episode.
ZOINKS!!! |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 24th, 2009|04:25 pm] |
This weekend I saw Inglourious Basterds. I must say I thoroughly enjoyed it. Nazis are pretty much the perfect movie villian. They are the embodiment of evil, they look cool onscreen, and more often than not, they are portrayed as intelligent, learned sociopaths. Tasty movie villians, then.
I also like how the movie made full use of english, german and french. It made me feel like a godamn dirty ape, only able to speak two languages; barely two languages. I always say this, but I need to get my french back at a level where I can have a conversation with somebody without always having to go "lentement, svp!". It would be cool to be able to speak german as well, but baby steps, baby steps!
Yeah, and the guy who played the main Nazi, Christoph Waltz, gave the best performance in any movie released this year. No shit! Fuck off if you don't believe me! |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 21st, 2009|04:51 pm] |
Tomorrow - that is to say Saturday - between the hours of 13:00 and 15:00 Canada's Next Top Model winner Meaghan Waller will be at Portage Place
Should I go?
Y ____
N ____
Portage Place is the most ghetto mall in Winnipeg, which places it high in the running for most ghetto in Canada. The only reason I can't say definitivly that it's the most ghetto is that I haven't seen the malls in Saskatoon and East Van, which I imagine to be wretched hives of scum and villiany. |
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| Hamburgers! |
[Aug. 20th, 2009|06:05 pm] |
Hey guess what? On Monday I saw Rod Stewart! No word of a lie. My mom's husband was supposed to go with his friend, but the friend couldn't make it, so I went instead. It was actually pretty good. The Rod played for over two hours and somehow, I knew all the songs. I guess he's just seeped into the conciousness of our culture or whatever.
I had no idea, but turns out Rod Stewart is a huge Celtic fan. He even had the Celtic crest on the floor of the stage and on the drum kit. At one point during a song he had a video of various Celtic players scoring goals and stuff. It was pretty cool. It's a good thing he's wasn't a Liverpool or Real Madrid supporter or I might have had to hit him with a projectile of some sort.
This weekend I'm seeing the new Tarantino film. It's crazy you can say "Basterds" on tv now. I remember when you couldn't even say "ass" on tv. Now you can even say "Balls" and "Shit" (at least in Canada). I'm trying not to swear so much. Instead of shit I usually try and go "Scheisse!" which is the same thing, but it sounds better. And instead of saying "fuck" when I'm angry, I try to say "Hamburgers!" instead.
Holy did you see Manchester United lose to Burnley? Hamburgers!!! |
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| Transformers 2 |
[Jul. 27th, 2009|05:43 pm] |
Nobody really writes in Livejournal anymore, I've noticed. I think mainly because Facebook takes about zero effort and Twitter takes even less effort, people are less inclined to put forth the brainpower necessary to string together a few sentences about what they are thinking about. Kids these days. It's no wonder western democracy is slowly being swallowed up.
Anyway this weekend I finally made it out to see Transformers 2 (and by "made it out" I mean "had my ticket paid for). It was about as awesome and shitty as you would imagine it to be. So much stuff blew up! I think it had the most shit-blowing-up-of than any movie I've ever seen.
Maybe I'm just brain-damaged from Transformers, but I kind of want to see GI Joe, even though it looks like total and utter shit. It looks even worse than the "Super Mario Brothers" movie with Bob Hoskins. It looks worse than the "Garbage Pail Kids Movie". It looks worse than "Destiny Turns on the Radio". It looks like it may even be worse than "I Know Who Killed Me", if that's even possible.
I think I like terrible movies sometimes because it's almost like being in a sensory deprivation tank. There's so much going on that your brain just shuts off; just completely stops processing information and just lets it zoom by like the landscape on a car trip. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 9th, 2009|04:35 pm] |
You know, I find watching the Tour de France to be incredibly soothing. You're aware that the Tour is on right now, yes? Of course you are; you are all physical culture aficionados. Anyway, I'm not sure why, but I just like having the race on while I'm hanging out at home doing whatever. It's better than the Christmas fire-log even. It's almost like the racers are frozen in time, like a painting that's alive. They just sit there - pedaling, pedaling, pedaling - for hours and hours. That's all it is. I could watch it for hours.
Also I've been watching the last few episodes of Canada's Next Top Model, which is an awesome show, I don't care what anybody says. The girl from Winnipeg is in the last three, but her name escapes me just now. She won't win anyway. I think it will really be between Linsay and Nikita. Linsay is absolutely luminous. Everytime she comes on screen my life gets a little bit better. She looked okay in the beginning, then they did the requisite "makeover" episode and she now she looks great! Short black hair is the perfect hair for a girl, but you kind of need to have a nice facial stucture for it, and you need to watch out you don't get too goth or Hot Topic-y, you know what I mean?
Anyway, I hope Linsay wins. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 3rd, 2009|07:18 pm] |
So my week was pretty okay. I got pretty wasted on Canada Day, I'm not gonna lie. Me and my roomate shared a bottle of Stoli and three bottles of wine; it was mental. So on Thursday I went to work hungover, but not too hungover (because I never get hungover, and because the whole idea of "hangovers" is bullshit, pretty much) then slept all evening and night.
Just when I was looking forward to having a awesome weekend, I wake up and see this happened:
Leaving aside that the new United kit looks totally HORRID, all I could say to myself was "Micheal Owen, really? Really??" Has the world gone topsy-turvy? I guess he is still relativly young, and he's still a fucking poacher in front of goal, but he gets injured walking down the street, and worst of all, he used to play for Liverpool. Vomit!
On the upside of things, I did get myself a new bike. My old bike was a bit of a deathtrap (no brakes, the wheels crocked), so I went out and bought a brand-new one, which in Winnipeg is like paying for your drinks in Vegas. Anyway, I went in and the guy got me the right size (I had no idea bikes came in different sizes, I'm a moron!) and he even gave me a discount on the bike lock. It's a Redline 925 and it's fucking sweet.
This isn't my picture, it's a picture of another of the same kind. Mine has bullhorn handlebars and is a singlespeed so it has brakes.
So I've been zipping all over the place with my new bike; it's awesome; I love it! |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 29th, 2009|04:54 pm] |
Last night I watched that movie "Deep Blue Sea" about the genetically engineered sharks who go kill-crazy (ever notice how everything genetically engineered goes kill-crazy) and anyway last night I had this wack-ass dream where I woke up in the ocean. I guess in the dream I was swimming in shark-infested waters, fell asleep for a while then woke up in a panic. I woke up in my bed and my heart was actually pumping pretty hard.
After I realized I was only dreaming, I sort of laughed at myself for letting a crap movie give me scary dreams. Then I checked to see if I pissed myself; having a scary dream about water, there's every chance I could have. Thankfully I didn't, otherwise you wouldn't be reading this right now! |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 26th, 2009|05:15 pm] |
I think I sort of despise running. I've been doing it fairly regularly the past few weeks and it never gets any easier. I've decided that I need to lose about 25 pounds or so, so I've been out running and I usually get about twenty minutes in and start to say to myself "This sucks" and I have to force myself to keep going.
So yeah, right now I'm tipping the scales at about 190 pounds and I think getting down to 165 would be about perfect for my height (5'9"). So pretty much that consists of running a lot, and eating nothing after 7PM. That's it. I go to bed hungry but it's really no big deal. Being hungry is good for you, it makes your mind sharp and builds character, I think. Besides eating is a huge pain in the ass. Unless you get takeout everyday, or you've tricked some woman into marrying you, you have to cook you're own food which takes about twenty minutes or so. So if I skip one meal a day, that means I save about two full hours a week, not including the time it takes to eat it.
I did buy a pedometer, however, which is this little thing that apparently attaches to your pants and keeps track of how far you go when you run. How it does this, I have no idea. But I'm going to keep track of how far I go each time and how long, and improve instead of just aimlessly running until I decide to stop.
Oh yeah, Micheal Jackson died. Whatever his personal foibles were, you can't deny that "Thriller" wasn't a killer album. I guess he may have molested some kids but who the fuck lets thier kids sleep over at the Neverland Ranch? Seriously! |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 7th, 2009|05:42 pm] |
What am I doing this weekend? Do you even need to ask?
Also, I think that in the Champions League final, Manchester United are gonna stomp Barcelona. |
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